She's HOME

Mom lived just two weeks after she asked the question, "Will it ever get better than this?"; two weeks after we all decided she should move on to hospice care.  She passed into the loving arms of her Savior on Sunday, June 27th at 6:45 p.m. I was blessed to be there with her as she took her final breaths. I've never been with someone who's passed from this life to the next, so I had some thoughts as to what it might be like. (I kept wanting to ask her, "What's it like?" "Do you see dad?" "Is it just amazing?") Instead, there seemed to be a "holy hush" in the room. My favorite calming piano-worship CD was playing in the room, the chaplain had just been there, and I had just tearfully said good-bye to the woman who gave me life, in addition to adding my own prayers of thanksgiving for her. I sat down on the love seat, watching her struggle to breathe. Suddenly, she took three short breaths, and then there was quiet. I got up and walked over to her bedside, then pressed the "NURSE" button. "Um, I think she's not breathing," I said not-so-bravely. I swear the nurse had been standing outside the door. She was in the room in a flash, guiding me through the next few moments as we took Mom's hands and waited a few minutes to make sure. I will likely never forget those moments, nor will I forget how God blessed me that day with a few precious hours spent in mom's room with my dear cousins. She's HOME!

Helen Mae Siering (Moser)
June 13, 1925 - June 27, 2010. 

Thank you, Jesus, for taking her to be with You. Mom's battle is over!

Finally, we've made it to the last stage of Mom's life. We just moved her into Aurora's Zilber Hospice in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. This beautiful room overlooking a lovely patio, complete with finch feeder will be her final resting spot here on earth. Although the nurses at St. Luke's were wonderful, I'm glad to get away from the beeping, interrupting, stressful atmosphere of the hospital. It's quiet here, just the bubbling of the oxygen humidifier to lull us to sleep. (I'm beginning to love that sound! Might need to check into something that bubbles for my bedroom.) Mom's resting comfortably, and seems in a much better mood today. They gave her a transfusion yesterday, so she got a little "boost" to help her make the transition comfortably. She's a little more talkative today. I got to ask her the "what year did you get married?" question as well as "tell me your father's first name again?"Though I'm sure it won't be long, only the Lord knows when she'll get to go Home. I hope to enjoy these days with her, no matter how much time is left.

So glad

Anyone out there remember Carol Burnette's show-ending jingle, "I'm so glad we've had this time together...just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started and before you know it...comes the time we have to say 'so long.'" ?? It's been a whirlwind few months, back and forth from Omaha to Milwaukee just about every other week. I've jokingly said that I go to clean out the refrigerator in each location. I've also said, "I need to leave...there's no more food at this house!"


So here I am, back in Milwaukee, only this trip finds me in Room 12127, the south tower of St. Luke's Hospital. Mom is on oxygen, breathing shallowly. Leukemia cells seem to have multiplied in the last few weeks. This stinks. I hate that she has to go. Yet I know I'll see her some day, and she'll get to celebrate with Jesus. No more tears, sorrow, anxious moments, or worries. Just peace. And love. And joy. All things will be good. But for now, it stinks.

Tonight I'm sitting all alone in the living room. I didn't catch the cooking shows today, or repeats of the news and weather, or tonight's reruns of NCIS. In fact, I was almost tempted to turn on the news, but I watched it a few times in the hospital this afternoon. I'm guessing nothing has changed. Yet, as I ponder about this time, I'm thankful that all the grandchildren got to make the trip to spend time with their Grammy. I'm thankful that baby Johanna got to meet her great-grandmother. I'm thankful for all the times we had together, especially these last few months. God has given me lots and lots of memories, and allowed us to walk through this time together as a family. I'm so glad.

Walking Shoes

This blog posting is in honor of my one reader...thank you! (You know who you are!) The past month (April, and now half of May, so I guess that's more like six weeks), I have been flying back and forth to Wisconsin from Omaha, with a week-long side trip to Edmonton thrown in.  I am so thankful to have had this time to spend with my Mom. We have had some very special moments together that I will cherish always.  The days are getting more difficult for her, however, and we can all see that her time on earth is getting shorter.  I have heard the Lord say that we are to walk this path together as a family, for however long it is, as He has much for us to learn.  I've put on my walking shoes!  I'm ready for whatever the path springs on me. That's only because I have my eyes (usually) fixed on the Light that's directing me, ("Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105), and not the thorns or the rocks or the snakes. Thank God once again, this battle's not mine! Besides...in the words of my good friend Mike, "WE WIN!"

In the process, (this is a real bargain!), I'm getting to know my new sister-in-law, and am developing a better relationship with my brother. I've made friends with the girls at their home (dogs--Missie and Hannah--they look forward to my coming, and pout when I leave!). My family, and the kitties, are learning they can survive without me (barely, I know! :), and we're all learning more about ourselves, the life we live now, and the life we'll live forever with Jesus.

Do you know my Jesus?

Not Ready

I was just thinking...Mom, I'm not ready. I know you're 84 years old, but I'm just not ready to lose you yet. That's selfish, isn't it? I'm pretty sure you're not ready to leave yet, either. I keep thinking, we don't get to "pick." God's already chosen that date for us. Ecclesiastes says there's "a time to be born and a time to die." Well, I'm not ready for your time. Then again, I suppose I shall never be ready. It's just, this last week has been so much fun! I love being with you, and talking with you, and caring for you. I love that you're "quiet as a little mouse" when you get up early to take your medicine, making sure you don't wake me on the couch where I sleep. How you watch TV without the sound--or closed caption--is beyond me! I love it when you make a funny remark and then giggle.  (Like the joke about my "nighttime attire,"--sweat pants and a t-shirt.) I love how we share chocolate together after a meal. Hmmm...guess you could say, "I love you!" Reminds me of that book, I'll Love You Forever. "I'll love you forever. I'll love you for always. As long as I'm living, my mommy you'll be!"

Headin' North (and it's not me this time!)

I was talking to my dear mom on the phone the other day when I noticed a large flock of birds flying over the house. White, with black wing tips, I identified them as Snow Geese. Having just moved my desk next to the window, I watched all day as hundreds and hundreds of geese flew swiftly overhead. (So much for "working!") At one point I went out on the porch to listen to them. What a beautiful sound!  Spring is indeed almost here (even though it snowed 4 inches that same day!). Spring makes me think of "new life," like the new life I have in Christ. I am His daughter. I ponder the really new life that my 84 year-old mom will have someday soon, as she struggles with leukemia . This quote really ministered to me today: she's not "going" anywhere, she's "coming" to be with Jesus! Mom, the battle's not yours...it's already won! Your Savior Jesus conquered death and the grave so you don't have to. I love you!! Jesus loves you!!  Fear not. "Behold," He says, "I make all things new!"

He Sings Over You!

I recently travelled to Wisconsin to see Mom--spent the week with her while brother Jim and his wife Lynn went to Florida. Ahhh, tempted to be jealous, except it was almost warmer in the midwest! We had a great time together; went out for lunch(es), shopped, had coffee at St. Arbucks, watched the Olympics, discussed current events, past events, present events, and even non-events. Unfortunately, Mom got sick the week after I left. She's in the hospital now in Burlington. We laughingly talked about how she "keeled over" after walking into the kitchen. Thankfully, God has been watching over her, and got her the help she needed.  We've both been reminded that He loves us so much...this morning He whispered quietly to me that He rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).  This holds true for you, too! Listen to God's Word and let it penetrate your heart:  "Our God is mighty to save! He takes great delight in you!! He wants to quiet you with His love, and rejoice over you with singing!" ...the battle's not ours. THANK GOD!